What if a much of a which of a wind...

Isn't it strange how you start to miss something just all of a sudden sometimes? I mean, you didn't miss it five minutes ago, or even thirty seconds ago...but then BAM, it hits you like a ton of bricks. And you feel lonely for that something, and you wonder why you haven't been doing it or seeing it or practicing it every day for the past however long, and you know that your life wouldn't actually be complete unless you did it or saw it or practiced right then, and from now on? I wonder where that feeling comes from. Is it a reminder from Heavenly Father of things that are important for us? Or maybe it's just our souls reaching out for what we really need...

Just now, I was sitting at my computer for the first time in a while, and listening to the TV in the background. Then, all of a sudden I was absolutely sick of the TV. I turned it off and tried the radio. It didn't work either. I flipped that off to. Then I turned on my classical music from my computer. Goldilocks. It was just right. I guess I haven't turned on my classical since I got out of school. I usually turn it on when I'm writing papers or reading some important looking textbook. So I guess my brain wanted to retreat back to that mindset. It's not a bad one to have.

I tried to go up to Tony Grove today (which, incidentally is not Tony's Grove, like everybody has said. There's no "s".) Here's a picture from the bottom of the hill.

I love all the yellow flowers.

You drive up this winding mountain road, and it's really quite beautiful. I was looking forward to a calm little sit by the lake. Unfortunately, it started raining when I was 2/3 of the way up the mountain. I sat in my car for a while in the parking lot adjacent to the lake, watching the rain pound on my windshield and hoping it would die down a bit, but it didn't. I guess I'll have to save my lake trip for another time. It was beautiful while it lasted.

I think that's one of the things that I love best about Logan. It's really close to a lot of hikes and walks and such. Here's another from Green Canyon, literally a five minute drive from my apartment:


If anyone needs a nice little walk, let me know. We have a bunch up here. It's one of the things on my list of things not-to-ever-forget-to-do.

Laziness to the Power of 10...or so it seems

Did you know camels' humps aren't actually full of water? I know I've heard that before, but I must've forgotten, because it surprised me when I read it. It's actually stored up fat. Interesting.

So, I just finished reading "The Lightning Thief," by Rick Riordan. It's absolutely excellent. It's like Harry Potter meets Hercules, with a little bit of Edith Hamilton's Mythology sprinkled throughout. If you ever wanted to learn more about mythology and never wanted to take the time to do it, here's your chance. I'm going to go and get the second book as soon as I can. As soon as I get paid. And I thought Riordan reasoned the whole "God vs. gods" issue very well, and in only just a few sentences.

I wish I had more to write, but right now my life is pretty much consumed with cleaning in the afternoon/night, and wiling my mornings away looking up random information that may be useful to me someday (yes, including the camel tidbit. You never know when you might find yourself stranded in the middle of a desert with a camel), reading children's books (though, I really should pick up Ben Hur and finish it...) and going to the pool. I try to slip in more productive things sometimes as well. Like studying Spanish and Conflict Resolution and Therapy and other stuff that I'll probably forget just as soon as my internship starts in August. Although, I must say that my storage unit is so totally organized. I have little "Hello my name is ____" tags above all the piles indicating what I might possibly find in that area. It destroys the illusion of surprise, when you go through your junk and find something you love and think "Hey! I forgot I had this! I forgot how much I LOVE it!"; but it also helps lessen the frustration when you're looking for your sleeping bag to go camping that night and it's buried beneath boxes of books, kitchen supplies you don't currently need because your three roommates already have one each, and those family pictures you're supposed to be scanning. No More!! Now it has a handy "Hello, my name is Outdoors" sticker right above it. =]

Calvinball

I have nothing to write about. In fact, an hour and a half ago I vowed to my roommate that I would go to bed before midnight. Then I wrote my brother. Then I played on facebook. Then I played on my blog. Now I am fully aware of my avoidance, and am torn; one half of me wonders why I haven't been going to bed early. The other half doesn't care.

This weekend was pretty fun. I drove down and visited my friends, Ked and Cynthia. Cynthia is from my branch back home, and I worked with Ked at the library at BYU. This last year they (and a few other friends from back home) were in the same ward. We figured since we were all semi-unbusy, we should play. So I drove down and we went to cheer at the softball game going on across from the stadium, put on by the Special Olympics. I've always wanted to go watch the Special Olympics, but I'd never had the chance before. It was really fun. We cheered for whoever was at bat, or whoever made an especially good play. We got sunburned a little, sitting out there cheering for two hours. Then we went home to Cynthia's and made dinner/dessert. Afterwards, some friends of theirs came over, bored and looking for something to do. We finally landed on beach volleyball, at their sand court outside. That was really fun (even though I'm really bad--except, perhaps, at serving) because the team Ked and Cynthia were on decided that every time one of their players would serve they had to sing a song--any song--so that a) they could guess who sang it and b) they could distract us from the game. It actually sort of worked. Though, in the end it didn't really matter because we weren't keeping score anyhow. What was really great, I thought, was that people from the apartments nearby just came out and joined the game on their own. We didn't have to invite them, and some of them we didn't even really know. They kept playing, even after those who started the game left (they even kept up the singing, I believe).

I still prefer Calvinball, though I think what we did was somewhat Calvinball-esk. Have you ever tried it? It's very liberating. (Muahaha =])

And the answer is....

Inquiring minds want to know: Has an ocean sprung up in the middle of Logan Utah? And the answer is no. As far as I can tell, there is no beach here. And trust me, I've looked high and low for one. I went to the beach when I was home in San Diego for a week an a half, whilst being homeless. My on campus housing kicked me out on the 1st of May, and I couldn't move in to my new apartment until the 10th or 11th or something, so I escaped to Cali. It only seemed right, because in all the songs they talk about running away to the west coast, so I figured I'd follow suit.

Point 2: Leven Thumps is actually pretty good. Haven't moved on to the second book yet, but I liked it. The ending, I thought, was especially good, and the characters (especially the minor ones) were pretty impressively created. I won't say anymore. All I'm saying is, I can't wait to see what happens next to Geth.

I just finished house sitting for my friend. It was really fun. Mostly I was there to take care of her dog, a pretty good sized boxer. My only complaint is that he is used to sleeping in her bed with her. And I was in a little twin sized bed in the guest room (which I chose, so I guess it's my own darn fault), and he was kind of pushing me off of it. The whole time. I've never really understood the draw to having your dog sleep in bed with you. I mean, it's nice to cuddle on the couch with your dog, and pet them and play with them and such. But really, sleeping in your bed? I mean, I loved having our dog, Moki. I especially love taking dogs on walks. It kind of gives me an excuse to go on walks at night, which I really enjoy. But I don't like smelling like a dog. And no matter how clean you keep your dog, they still have a doggy smell, and that inevitably rubs off on you. Especially if your dog sleeps in bed with you. So the end of this rant is: when I get a dog, little Tucker will be sleeping in his/her doggy bed. And I will probably get a basset hound flop dog, because they don't feel the need to follow you absolutely everywhere you go in the house. The End. (P.S. I know they howl. I'll talk him/her out of it.)

So I had a sad and strange sort of event happen a couple of months ago. It's still sort of surreal, so I haven't written about it. But I felt like writing it tonight, for some reason. So, amongst all my whinings about boxers and praise for Leven Thumps, I'm going to mention my little story of my best friend from elementary school. Lisa and I met in kindergarten. We were in the same class, and we ended up joining Girl Scouts together as well, starting out in the little known "Daisies," which comes just before the Brownie level. Lisa was vibrant. That's really the best word I can come up with to describe her. She had this something in her soul that shined out of her. I know she always wanted to be famous. She had this sparkle in her eyes all the time too, and her smile was infectious. She loved American Tail. She could copy Fivels voice exactly, and (I never told her this) but she kind of looked like the little mouse too. I used to sleep over at her house sometimes, and watch her perform songs. We'd play board games, get pizza, and watch movies. I didn't necessarily want to be like her, but I admired the spark in her that drove her to be so outgoing. I couldn't figure out where that spark came from. Lisa wasn't perfect--she always liked to get her way. And I, being terribly shy, was the perfect friend for her. She could talk me in to almost anything. She even talked me into joining the cheerleading squad that she and her mom started. Can you imagine me as a cheerleader?! I felt ridiculous, but Lisa was so excited about it. She just loved being the center of attention. I had this fascination when I was with Lisa--it was like I was in a play, acting a part that I'd never known I could play before.

As different as we were, I think it was inevitable that we would break apart. Seven years as friends doesn't seem long now, but to a twelve year old--it was my whole life. There was a new girl in class that at first we both became friends with; but then I realized I had become the outsider. It was painful. Lisa was becoming someone different than I'd known before. We entered the cruel teen years, and our friendship was damaged beyond repair. I'd always sort of admired her from afar, but then it changed. I couldn't admire her anymore, and I had to look for new friends. It was strange, going through junior high and part of high school, being in some of the same classes with her and us not even speaking. Ignoring each other, as if all those years of playing together had meant nothing.

After I left high school behind me, I thought every once in a while of looking her up. Her family had moved, I didn't know where. While I was on my mission--when you're day-in, day-out examining your life and everything that had led you to be where you were--I couldn't help but think of Lisa. I would find her when I got home.

I probably had a million chances after I'd gotten home. But this last January I discovered I would've been too late anyhow. I joined Facebook last September, to keep in touch with friends from back home while I was in another state studying. One of the first random people searches I did was to try and find Lisa. But she wasn't there. In January, it occurred to me to look for her younger sisters. They might have Facebook accounts, and not her. I searched, and found her youngest sister first. I "added" her, and asked for info on where Lisa was. She wrote back and told me. Lisa had passed away in a car accident six years before. She'd been driving intoxicated. She had died while I was out on my mission. I grieved the friendship that I'd lost so many years before. I'd been hoping that, since we were older and wiser and less like stupid teenagers now, that we could be friends again. And I think, somehow, we are. I hope she understands me a little better now. I think I understand her more now too. The thing that hurt the most was that I was gone on my mission, preaching the gospel to people I didn't even know, when someone I really did love was suffering so much inside. How much could the gospel have helped her? I think she'll get her chance. Maybe when she does, she'll remember me. And remember that I loved her, and that I could see the spark that radiated out from her, when she was happiest.

And on that serious note, to all my Dear Family & Friends: I love you. Please don't doubt it, ever. They say life is too short. It is. Just know that the gospel is true, and that Heavenly Father notices everything in your life. He has a perfect plan for you, just like He does for my dear friend, Lisa.

Detox

Can you detox from Graduate School? If you do, do you forget everything you learned in the past 8 months? Because if I do, that would be a huge waste of a couple thousand dollars and some precious months of my life that could've been spent doing something else, like improving my butterfly collection. Or starting one.

Well, I did it. I finally finished moving in today. Yea for members of the Relief Society Presidency that have big trucks they are willing to lend out to unfortunate mini-car people like me that need to move a lot of junk. I still have boxes in the middle of my room, but I'm confident they will disappear of their own volition in the next few days.

I've been spending the past few weeks alternating between being very productive indeed, and being extremely lazy and somewhat flighty (though some would argue that I am flighty on a much more consistent basis than "somewhat" would imply).

Productive Things Done:
Painted a room green
Bought trimming for the bathroom
Moved
Budgeted and Set up Summer Schedule
Visited Friends
Took nephew to the Zoo (adorable!!)

Extremely Lazy Things "Done":
Gone to the Beach (x3)
Gone to the Pool (x1)
Caught up on TV shows

Walking the Line:
Read "Leven Thumps"
Read "Fairest"
Reading "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH"
Continued embroidery project--which looks amazing, I might add.