Oceans

In honor of my new-found freedom and the ability to use 2 hours or so in the manner that I so pleased, I went to go see "Oceans" this week. When I first walked into the theater it was empty, but it was early afternoon so I wasn't too surprised. Just before the trailers started a bunch of couples came in and scattered themselves around the theater, and I thought "How nice that all these couples decided to spend their date learning about the ocean!" I reveled during the previews that I wasn't the only person in the world who liked movies/documentaries like this.

Then the movie started. A small pair of feet wearing little kid pajamas scurried across a hard wood floor. Then little children were suddenly attacking Tina Fey and Steve Carell. What the...? Then I realized that I was sitting in the "Date Night" theater. I pulled my ticket out to see if I misread it. Theater 5. I'm pretty sure I'm in theater 5. I sat and pondered for a minute whether I would stay in there and just watch Date Night by default. I like Steve Carell. I haven't seen Tina Fey in many things, but she seemed entertaining. Then I went through the whole "Do I really want to sit here and watch this?" debate. And I didn't. So, looking like a fool because I, of course, sat in the front row where I could prop my feet up on that bar thing, I got up and left the theater. As I did, I checked the number of the theater. Five. My ticket again. Five. I checked that the stub didn't say Date Night. It said Oceans. Okay, so I've determined I'm not crazy. Good. I like that feeling. I went around the corner to the candy people. They were helping people, but I decided to be a little more brash than usual, and gave one of them "the mother look," as my brother's like to call it. One of them came over right away. "Umm, I'm here to watch Oceans, and my ticket says theater five but it's playing Date Night." "Oh yeah, sorry," the kid says "they changed the theater. It's in six now." Pause, in which I internally say to this kid "Did you think it might be a good idea to tell your customers this?" Instead I said "How far into the movie is it?" "Well, I think the previews probably just ended. If it's too far into the movie, we can exchange your ticket for a later showing." I decided then I didn't care, if the movie was good I'd probably buy it anyhow later on, and stopped torturing the awkward candy kid.

Still, what kind of movie theater doesn't tell you which theater to go into? Isn't the entire purpose of purchasing a ticket with the theater number on it supposed to ensure that I will, eventually, make it into the movie I paid to see?

Anyhow, when I got in there it was just a few minutes in, and they were starting with classic shots of whales breaching, so I figured I hadn't missed much. I settled down, this time higher up in the seating area so I could take in the whole picture. The only other people in the theater was this grandma and mom with her two boys. The older one was sitting up on the top row by himself, right under the projector, and the younger one kept running between sitting with his mom and sitting with his brother. It was pretty fun to hear them get grossed out by some of the stuff in the movie though. I was a little sad there weren't more people there. There was this GREAT scene in the movie though! They were showing these spider crabs off the coast of Australia, I think, and it was like a battle scene. One group of spider crabs made their way towards another large group. They began attacking each other like crazy. Then the camera panned out and there were literally THOUSANDS of these spider crabs all attacking each other. I felt like I was watching that scene in Lord of the Rings, at the Battle of Helms Deep.

Maybe this is why I'm not married. I'm too boring. I'd rather watch Oceans than Date Night. The thing is though, I think this stuff IS fun. Where are all these people that get as much enjoyment out of the same things I do? For example, right now my roommates are out in the front room watching Baby Momma. And I don't want to sound like I'm bashing Tina Fey, and there may be some point in time where I actually want to watch that movie...but I'd kind of rather read, or go on a walk, or swim, or sew or do calligraphy or go hiking or plan my future. Bah.