Top Ten

Top 10 Things You Need if You Have A Stomach Ache
1. Pepto Bismal. It can be the Equate version.
2. Unsalted saltines
3. Ginger snaps. It calms the stomach. BTW, a cook that I used to work with told me that ginger in large quantities is poisonous. And he worked in the Temple, so it had to be true.
4. Pajamas
5. Pillow
6. Movie
7. Sleep
8. Chicken broth. Not actual soup. Those pesky noodles and veggies and such might make you feel queasy. Just drink the broth from a cup.
9. Classical Music
10. Bubble bath. And a bottle of bubbles to blow when you get bored of laying in bed.

Top Ten Reasons We Don't Deserve to Encounter People from Other Planets
1. MTV and BET
2. The flutophone
3. Newscasters from FOX network
4. Rhythmic Gymnastics
5. Jim Carrey (calm DOWN already)
6. People that wear shorts/flip flops when it is 30 degrees Fahrenheit or less outside.
7. Any "reality" show
8. Comic books (I include this not because I hate them, but because it would confuse our visitors. Can you imagine? "What, you mean you can't read people's minds? You can't control the elements? You can't repeat pi to the 400th decimal point?")
9. Hairless cats
10. Botox. You know why you're on here.

There are a lot more relevant ones (like Rwanda, Darfur and the Holocaust) but I thought for entertainment purposes I'd put the funny ones.

Just for fun, check this out. It has rained fish. I'm not crazy.