It's 2:33am. Do you know where your Bekah is?

This one is up typing, for some reason. She should have gone to bed long ago. Technically, I guess she is in bed, she's just not using it for the purpose of sleeping, which is the whole reason the mattress was actually created. Misuse of Powers!

I don't know what to write. I've been going to class and trying to study and such. Mostly tonight's staying up is an effort to push Saturday from coming. See, when Friday night comes I'm all excited because tomorrow is Saturday and I can have a "free" day. However, inevitably I end up spending said "free" day doing boring things like cleaning my room, doing my homework, grocery shopping, exercising, piddling around, doing more homework, or the ever-present alternative: more homework. Or I just distract myself with episodes online that I can't watch during the week. In fact, I finally just got caught up on the Office tonight. I think I watched five episodes tonight. I really like the Office but there is one thing that bothers me...when Michael Scott does things that embarrass him I feel so embarrassed for him that it is just uncomfortable. I can't even watch sometimes. I have to hide my face because I just want so badly to help him be less awkward, but there's nothing that can be done. The awkwardness just continues.

I was talking to my roommate tonight about decision making. And I came to an important conclusion. There is a part missing from the Book of Mormon. And I'm not talking about the Book of Lehi. Let me explain. You know in the book of Ether when the Lord tells the Brother of Jared how to build all of the barges, and then the Brother of Jared does it? Well, after that the Lord says (basically) "Oh, by the way you can't breathe in them and there's no light. So you might want to think about how to fix that." The Lord tells him how to solve the breathing problem, but leaves it up to Jared to fix the light problem. Now, at the end of chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3 is where something is missing. See, at the end of chapter 2 the Lord asks the Brother of Jared what he wants Him to do. Then at the beginning of chapter 3 we see the Brother of Jared hiking up mount Shelem to get the stones for the Lord to touch and therefore bring light to the barges. And you know what I was thinking tonight? That's like us and our problems. The Lord is going to leave some things up to us. He has to. He's teaching us how to decide. What these verses are missing is all the mistaken suggestions that the Brother of Jared makes to the Lord. And maybe it was just because it was late, but I could totally see him running around their camp, kind of picking things up along the way--anything that might give light off inside the barges--and kind of looking up at the Lord going "Is um...Is this right? Can we somehow get this coconut to give off light? Would...seashells work? They're from the ocean too, so they might withstand....No? Okay...Um, how about..." Etc. Because that's what we tend to do when we have to make hard decisions. We go around and sort of test our theories about what is right for us. Hopefully while we're doing it we are constantly LOOKING for that feedback from the Lord so that we know whether or not what we're doing is right or not. And maybe by this time the Brother of Jared had perfected his listening skills so much that running around the camp looking for answers didn't occur to him at all--he just knew that going up to mount Shelem was the right thing to do. And THAT is the point that I want to be at. I want to get to the point where I don't have to run around the camp looking for answers anymore, because the Lord and I are already on the same page as to what the true answers really are. I want that connection.

Bedtime. Hope you enjoyed my babbling. =]