Feng Shui

Does anyone else out there have fun rearranging their furniture? Last night I did a bit of a deep clean to my room and I moved some of my furniture around. Then today at work I finally moved the furniture around in the group room. There is something sort of satisfactory in moving your furniture around; almost like you get a whole new room just by moving one object to another place. I like the first week or so after I've moved my furniture around, because I come in to my room not envisioning how the room looks now, and it's almost as if I'm surprised that things aren't where I'm used to them being.
"Oh, the furniture's been moved!...Oh wait, that was me..."

I have this habit of all of a sudden being dissatisfied with how my room is set up, and then staying up until 1am in order to move the furniture to where I think it should go. It wouldn't really take so long, but in the process I end up dusting off all my books and the shelves, cleaning out drawers and vacuuming before and after, and even while I am moving things around. If you notice, though, there is something very peaceful about climbing in to your bed after you've moved it to another side of the room. Like you know that you'll have very pleasant dreams, because having your bed in a new spot creates creative new dreams that you couldn't possibly have had if your bed had still been in the north corner of the room. You know what I mean?

Sometimes People Make Decisions...

...And I haven't had to make that many for quite a while now. So I suppose accepting Utah State University's offer of admission into their graduate program is an exciting decision to make. I'm a little nervous, but not doubtful that this is right. I'll be starting the Master of Social Work program at the end of August. WHEW!!! It does feel good to finally commit myself to something like this.

I hear it's pretty cold in Logan, Utah. I suppose I'll finally have to buy Alvin that warming lamp that I've been meaning to get him. My Mom told me something kind of cool. I guess she and my Dad were talking about my decision to go, and he realized that out of all four of my grandparents only one of them went to college. My Grandpa Nelson attended USU for two years. Dad said he never did finish. So I guess this one's for you, Grandpa. I didn't know that when I followed my whim of applying at USU. Maybe sometimes whims aren't really whims after all.

My Favorite

My favorite flower is a daisy.
My favorite color is blue.
My favorite thing to wear is jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops.
My favorite animal is a dolphin.
My favorite way to wear my hair is in a pony-tail.
My favorite blanket is the red and blue checked one that my grandma made.
My favorite scent is gardenia.
My favorite cereal is bran flakes.
My favorite ice cream is raspberry sherbet.
My favorite sport to play is tennis.
My favorite yogurt is strawberry.
My favorite high school moment is when I laughed out loud at The Custom House
My favorite jam is raspberry.
My favorite fruit is either strawberries or watermelon.
My favorite holiday is the 4th of July.
My favorite part of the drive up to Utah is the mountain pass.
My favorite vacation was my eighth grade East coast trip.
My favorite part of my mission is Isabel.
My favorite theme park is Sea World.
My favorite instrument is the violin.
My favorite scripture is Alma 57:27.
My favorite hymn is Be Still, My Soul.
My favorite place to sit while I was growing up was the Y-shaped branch in the front yard tree.
My favorite radio program is "Wait, wait, don't tell me."
My favorite picture of me is when I was two, wearing a banana sticker on my nose.
My favorite library is the BYU library, (empty of people).
My favorite thing to take with me on a trip is my pillow.
My favorite stuffed animal is Muncheechee.
My favorite thing to bake is cookies.
My favorite thing to eat after swimming is macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.
My favorite radio station to listen to is the classical music station.
My favorite toy is a bottle of bubbles.
My favorite candy is peppermints.
My favorite lipstick color is a burnt brown.
My favorite kind of hair day is when the sun makes it look reddish.
My favorite century is the 19th.
My favorite part of me is my forearms.
My favorite hike is Torrey Pines State Reserve.
My favorite spectator sport is football.
My favorite time of day is dusk.
My favorite memory of elementary school is when Michael Halbe smashed up his oreos, put them in his chocolate milk, and then ate the whole mess-just to make me laugh.
My favorite art to do is ceramics.
My favorite dream is to be happy and have peace.

I cannot choose a favorite book.
I cannot choose a favorite movie, or TV show.
I cannot choose a favorite poem.
I cannot choose a favorite opera.
I cannot choose a favorite country.
I cannot choose a favorite family member.
I cannot choose a favorite pet.
I cannot choose a favorite friend.
I cannot choose a favorite teacher.

100% Mormon

Today while I was at work I was preparing for a new group that I'll be running this month. The group is called "My Meaningful Life," made in hopes of helping the kids I work with figure out who they are and what is important to them. We'll be talking about things like family and friends, work, community responsibilities, faith/beliefs, sobriety, etc. This morning I was looking for information about faith/beliefs. I was hoping to encourage them to figure out what it is that they believe in. So I googled "faith/beliefs," and found the website for BeliefNet, and more specifically, (muahaha) a quiz.

Now, I'd like you to know that I do not sit around taking quizzes all the time, despite the fact that I suggested a few other quizzes recently. But honestly, how could I resist the "What's your Faith?" quiz? So I took it, and guess what? I'm 100% Mormon! It made me laugh, and I'm really glad that the internet community confirms my beliefs. The most exciting part was that one of my co-workers took the quiz, and it told him that he is 100% Mormon as well, so I invited him to come to church with me any time. I'm thinking this could be a really great missionary tool...

Anyhow, here is how the Belief-O-Matic explains the results, and how my percentages worked out:

"The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa. Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking."

1. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (100%)
2. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (97%)
3. Jehovah's Witness (94%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (91%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (81%)
6. Eastern Orthodox (75%)
7. Roman Catholic (75%)
8. Seventh Day Adventist (72%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (64%)
10. Orthodox Judaism (64%)
11. Sikhism (58%)
12. Liberal Quakers (57%)
13. Islam (55%)
14. Hinduism (51%)
15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (46%)
16. Jainism (46%)
17. Unitarian Universalism (46%)
18. Reform Judaism (43%)
19. Mahayana Buddhism (39%)
20. Theravada Buddhism (37%)
21. Neo-Pagan (30%)
22. Taoism (22%)
23. Secular Humanism (21%)
24. New Age (19%)
25. Scientology (19%)
26. New Thought (16%)
27. Nontheist (13%)

After you see your results, you can click on the different religions to see their explanations of different religious topics. I laugh about it, but isn't it also a little sad that there are so many people out there that are so lost they feel like they need the Belief-O-Matic to help them figure out who they are in this great big universe?

You Know What I Love?

Cherry Trees, in bloom

Toothbrush Revelations

So, as I was flossing and brushing my teeth last night I came to a conclusion about the difference between living your dreams out and fulfilling your dreams. I believe that clever thoughts tend to come to us in the most obscure places, and generally at the one and only time that day that you do not have a pen and little pad of paper to write them down on. It's actually quite fun to have to repeat these ideas to yourself over and over, until you finally do get to the pen and paper, in order to prevent these treasures of thought from escaping you forever. Sometimes people ask you what you are doing, or they interrupt your train of thought by asking you a question, and the fight between that desperately repeated fleeting thought and the answer to the question they asked have a little fight inside you. It gives you a sort of roller-coaster feeling. It's quite thrilling, really. Dangerous even, because what if that thought slips through your fingers? But I digress.

I was flossing and brushing my teeth, when a project from my tenth grade English class popped into my head. I don't often reminisce about high school, so I decided to let this little remembrance run it's course. We had to create a portfolio of poetry, essays, and other such English-type things, that had to do with our future goals. It was one of those "character building" projects. Anyhow, I had titled mine "Fulfilling Dreams." Then it occurred to me: There is a difference between living your dreams out and looking forward to fulfilling your dreams. Sometimes when you live your little dreams out now you end up sacrificing things that could have gone towards fulfilling the real big-picture dreams that you have-the vision you have of yourself of what you'll be at the end of your life.

I sort of laughed to myself as I thought about that project, because I realized that even though more than ten years have passed since I stayed up until 3am working on my portfolio, I do the same thing today. Instead of living out the dreams that I have right now, the gut instinct desires of my heart or thoughts that pop into my head that seem difficult but still plausible-these little gems of dreams are sometimes sacrificed to my looking ahead to the chest of dreams that I know I can get to at the end of the treasure hunt.

While that seems like a good and worthy sacrifice, I had to pause (well, I kept brushing) and think about whether those little "gems" really ever needed to be sacrificed in the first place. That sent me in to one of those fast-forward looks at the little gems I'd sacrificed in the past in order to get to where I am, and decide whether I'd made the right choice. And even though I'd like to do some of those things still, I didn't feel any pain at having to sacrifice what has come my way so far. Which is a good sign that either they wouldn't have been good for me, or I'll get the chance to do them at some other point in time anyhow. Maybe it's not a clever thought, but at least it lasted long enough for me to finish brushing my teeth--and taking out my contacts, mind you.

The Gardner

So, this poem is too wide for the sidebar, and since my book review blog is for books and not poems (though I just wrote a review on an anthology of poems, which is not the same thing-haha), I decided to write it out here for you all to read. It struck me. Though, I do wish that there were more poems written from women to men. I've hardly seen any of those. I wonder why?


The Gardner, by Rabindranath Tagore

Your questioning eyes are sad. They seek to know my
meaning as the moon would fathom the sea.
I have bared my life before your eyes from end to end,
with nothing hidden or held back. That is why you know
me not.
If it were only a gem, I could break it into a hundred
pieces and string them into a chain to put on your neck.
If it were only a flower, round and small and sweet, I could
pluck it from its stem to set it in your hair.
But it is a heart, my beloved. Where are its shores and its
bottom?
You know not the limits of this kingdom, still you are its
queen.
If it were only a moment of pleasure it would flower in an
easy smile, and you could see it and read it in a moment.
If it were merely a pain it would melt in limpid tears,
reflecting its inmost secret without a word.
But it is love, my beloved.
Its pleasure and pain are boundless, and endless its wants
and wealth.
It is as near to you as your life, but you can never wholly
know it.